Thursday, 19 March 2009

• I. am. overwhelmed.

  I think I have used the word "overwhelmed" more times in the past few months than ever before in my life.  Planning a wedding, going to school, working, driving 100 miles each time I want to see Josh and shopping for houses has made me very familiar with this term.  I was writing a long overdue email to a friend today when I realized how much is on my plate right now and how glad I will be when things settle down.

  And then I got some different news and became overwhelmed in an entirely new way.  We finally found a townhome to buy, and Josh is closing on it tomorrow.  The price was already reduced quite a bit, it's a beautiful brand new home, and we looked at some dumps.  Thinking that we will get to start our lives together there is wonderful and amazing.  Today, we got news that they reduced the price further. Then we also got news that Josh's friend is giving us a washer and dryer as a wedding/housewarming present.  Two days ago we found out Josh got a promotion and a raise.  We also found out that Josh's dad, who lives in Germany and hasn't seen Josh since he was nine, will be coming to the wedding and bringing Josh's half sister, who Josh has never met.  I tried on my wedding dress yesterday for my final fitting, and it is so pretty and there were no advertisements embroidered on it (that may sound strange, but I had a dream the seamstress sold all the white space on my dress to advertisers).

  I am completely overwhelmed by these blessings.  The part that really gets me is that, if there were ever a time in my life when I felt less deserving of any blessings, it would be now.  I have been so grumpy and frustrated and stressed out lately.  I have not been very fun to be around. Poor Josh .   And when I am at my grouchiest, God turns and blesses us so much that it's overwhelming. 

  That's humbling.         

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